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Good relationships can fall apart. They can and they do. And you know what? It may be the best thing that can happen to you.If you've ever felt the ground shift beneath your relationship—whether romantic, friendship, or family—you know that sinking feeling when everything you thought was solid suddenly feels fragile. The conversations that once flowed easily become strained. The person you thought you knew seems like a stranger. The future you planned together feels uncertain and a distance starts to emerge.Here's what we want you to know: this falling apart isn't the end of your story, it's the beginning of something far more extraordinary than what you had before. Here's why:The Natural Rhythm of GrowthEvery living thing follows cycles of breakdown and renewal. Trees shed their leaves to grow stronger roots. Butterflies dissolve in their cocoon before emerging transformed. Our relationships are no different.When relationships "fall apart," what's actually happening is that the old structure—the patterns, assumptions, and ways of being together that once served us —have become too small for who we're becoming. The breakdown isn't a failure; it's a natural way to make space for expansion.The Alternative to Breaking Down is Breaking UpHere's the truth most people don't realise: relationships that never fall apart don't stay strong—they slowly decay and lose integrity from the inside. When we avoid the difficult conversations, suppress our changing needs or cling to outdated dynamics, we create stagnation. And stagnation, ultimately leads to resentment, disconnection, and eventually, the kind of ending that truly breaks things beyond repair.The relationships that endure aren't the ones that never face challenges. They're the ones that learn to fall apart gracefully and rebuild intentionally. Trust us we've been through quite a few of these breakdowns.What Becomes PossibleWhen you allow your relationship to fall apart—to have those hard conversations, to acknowledge the discomfort of what is no longer working for you, and to take a stand for yourself and the relationship —you create space for something new and&nbsp; remarkable to show up:Deeper authenticity:&nbsp; You get to show up as who you really are now, not who you were when the relationship began or even who you were last week!Renewed intimacy: If you choose to recreate together, you're choosing each other with full awareness, not just habit and familiarity or obligation and duty. It strengthens your commitment to each other.&nbsp;Resilience: You learn that your connection can weather storms, making you braver in love and stronger in your trust of each other. This creates deeper love and acknowledgement of who you are for each other.Expanded capacity: Your relationship becomes bigger than either of you could have imagined possible. You are able to expand as individuals and together and the bonds of love grow more resilient and capable of dealing with more or bigger challenges.You know the person on the other side of this breakdown will still be the same person you love, but your love will be more spacious and understanding, less triggered and reactive. You are both left feeling more real, more authentic and&nbsp; alive in your connection.Getting Through the StormWe can attest that this process of falling apart is undeniably difficult - it can feel like you are splitting up or breaking apart. Sometimes you feel like you're grieving the relationship while still in it. &nbsp;We know how frightening it can be to question the relationship and it's viability.&nbsp; We feel it's natural to question everything you thought you knew about your partner and yourself and to consider whether the relationship is still serving you.&nbsp; However, these periods of questioning and breaking down existing patterns and entrenched assumptions were absolutely imperative for our growth, both individually and as a couple.&nbsp;Rather than trying to create a no questioning policy, we recommend enquiring into what is working and whats not on a regular basis.&nbsp; The more you do it the more comfortable and safe it becomes.Some key points we’ve learnt in our relationship journey of 14 years are:· &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; We can’t choose the breakdowns, but we can choose the breakthrough! We invite you to let that one sink in.· &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; How important it is for us to trust the process, even when we can't see where it's leading.&nbsp; A mantra we use often is "It’s all working out beautifully. in our favour"· &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; The need to stay curious about what it is that’s emerging rather than trying to hold on and defend what was. And we've learned that holding on can be extremely painful!· &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Remembering that discomfort and breakdown is NOT danger—it's a sign that something between us needs to change. (Often it's the limited perception we had of ourselves that needed to shift)&nbsp;·&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;It IS possible to bring a sense of safety to this process, we just had to stop relating to each other as the enemy.Beyond What We Thought Was PossibleOur relationship has sustained many breakdowns and breakthroughs over our 14 years together. The relationship that emerged for us following every breakdown has surpassed anything that we believed was possible based on our past experiences. We have became more open and vulnerable, more understanding of each others needs and ultimately, we've become closer and more loving and accepting of each other.&nbsp;The experience for us has been truly surprising and exhilarating. We've seen the same amazement in our clients as they have gone through this process too!When you take on this way of seeing your relationship, you may discover depths of connection you never knew existed. You might find that your capacity for love—both giving and receiving—has expanded in ways that transform not just this relationship, but all your relationships.&nbsp;You see the breakdown you're afraid of, might actually be the breakthrough you've been unconsciously longing for. AND it’s ok to get professional help when your relationship feels like it is falling apart.&nbsp; It can be so helpful to have someone who is astute and experienced to guide you through the process. &nbsp;A New BeginningIf you are in a relationship that is currently falling apart, we can’t tell you it's going to be easy. It’s usually not. But you don't have to be in a period of prolonged suffering either. Like the disintegrating castle in the tarot, sometimes we have to stop ‘trying to hold a relationship together’. &nbsp;Instead, we consciously let it fall apart, let ourselves fall apart, so we can discover what we truly have. When we do this as a conscious choice, with the support and guidance we need, what emerges is something really worth the effort. We've never regretted putting in the work.This is where we see relationships fall apart and end. We see people unwilling to face what’s there to face, because they don't know how (they were never taught the tools) to navigate through hard times and difficult moments.&nbsp;After going through extensive breakdowns/breakthroughs in our own relationship, we've learned how to trust that what is falling away needs to go and to find the strength to build something better.&nbsp; We developed our own highly effective tools for guiding ourselves through this process more easily. This enabled us&nbsp;to trust, that the love that brought us together was strong enough to survive these transformations, and to let ourselves be transformed by it.We let ourselves change.&nbsp;And we can tell you this: Change can happen fast! On the other side of a relationship disintegration lies the possibility of a connection more beautiful and authentic than anything you've experienced before. It's worth the effort.If you would like to develop the skills to navigate difficulties or transform and deepen your relationships, check out our Love, Sex and Power Lab 7 Week Online Course. Or if you would prefer more one to one support, contact us for individual and couple sessions.We are here to help you expand and grow in all your relatonships!&nbsp;With love,Ian and Tia

Good Relationships Fall Apart

<h2>Understanding the Role of Intimacy Coaching</h2>Intimacy coaching is a profession that we find often faces misunderstandings and misconceptions, you know the wink, the smile, the "why would anyone be interested in that?" As one friend put it. In Australia, as the field gains traction, it's important to appreciate the true value these sessions offer.&nbsp; As we always say; Where do we learn about intimacy? Where do we learn to be in our power with love in relationships? That's what inspired us to create our courses, but some people prefer one to one coaching.Our Intimacy coaching provides individual guidance on emotional, physical, and mental aspects of relationships, helping individuals and couples develop skilled practices and unique leading edge understanding of how to create the relationship you truly want. This article is about some myths we hear alot.<figure id="figure-s15orfx2gsmb030eqb" class=""><img id="s15orfx2gsmb030eqb" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1138947324/photo/teacher-and-female-student-having-fun-learning.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=3TKjDa6f_c8xEZXa73GyQt6P9qagpxSTtIG1shs_Kxc=" alt="intimacy coaching" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1138947324/photo/teacher-and-female-student-having-fun-learning.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=3TKjDa6f_c8xEZXa73GyQt6P9qagpxSTtIG1shs_Kxc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h3>Myth 1: Intimacy Coaching is just about sex, right?</h3>One of the most prevalent myths is that intimacy coaching is solely focused on sex. While sexual practices, mindsets and cultivating your erotic energy are high on our priority lists, intimacy coaching also covers a broader spectrum of skills. We work on communication skills, how to create emotional intimacy, and developing healthy personal boundaries. Our aim is to guide and support clients to develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship dynamics which have powerful outcomes.Intimacy coaching is about enhancing overall relational satisfaction and not just the physical aspects. This holistic approach ensures long-term improvements in personal and interpersonal dynamics.<h3>Myth 2: Do you just give advice or solutions?</h3>Another common misconception is that it's our job as intimacy coaches to provide direct advice or solutions to problems. In reality, we prefer to facilitate and guide a process of self-discovery, helping our clients find their own answers and realise their own solutions. You know yourself better than anyone and we want to support you to take it to the next level. We are experts at doing just that. Not in telling you what we think but helping you realise whats true to you. Using our highly effective unique techniques, contexts and analogies, plus deep listening, reflective questioning, and personalized exercises,&nbsp; we help guide individuals and couples get clear what their deeper wants, needs and desires are. We tailor to you, but we provide the framework to succeed.<figure id="figure-0akk74fvimb030eqb"><img id="0akk74fvimb030eqb" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1744217595/photo/focused-young-couple-in-therapy-emotions-and-insights-captured.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=BimXJfVkF6zjRAay2LlsHTWcY_h9EVeB3v_dViUXZbU=" alt="relationship counseling" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1744217595/photo/focused-young-couple-in-therapy-emotions-and-insights-captured.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=BimXJfVkF6zjRAay2LlsHTWcY_h9EVeB3v_dViUXZbU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure>This client-centered approach we love to use ensures that the solutions are yours tailored to your wants, needs and desires.<h3>Myth 3: Intimacy Coaching Is Only for People with issues. You should be able to figure it out by yourself, right?.</h3>Many believe that intimacy coaching is only for those experiencing difficulties in their relationships and who can't figure it out themselves. In truth, coaching can be beneficial for anyone looking to enhance their connection with themselves or others. There's always blocks and blind spots that we encounter and so much more we can learn to enhance our relationships.&nbsp; We are all on a learning journey of Self discovery and creating and building a relationship is one of the most power areas for self development..&nbsp; Whether you're seeking to deepen an already strong relationship or explore new facets of personal growth, intimacy coaching offers valuable insights and tools which are applicable to ALL the relationships in your life.<h3>Myth 4: Intimacy Coaching Is Not Professional, it's just a fad.</h3>Some skeptics view intimacy coaching as lacking professionalism or legitimacy and is some kind of new fad. We have both undergone extensive personal and professional development training and certification over a 30 year span. And of course after 14 years together and having to navigate many different challenges, we have a wealth of personal journey experiences to draw on including the classic pitfalls and blind alleys.&nbsp; <img id="y742ypr0eomb030eqb" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2057985510/photo/presentation-coaching-and-meeting-with-business-woman-and-tablet-for-research-training-and.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=fyFNcJTa5cBDGhqzdAlU92a9IFeum-BbIwMa6WrVVMA=" alt="professional coaching" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 selected" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2057985510/photo/presentation-coaching-and-meeting-with-business-woman-and-tablet-for-research-training-and.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=fyFNcJTa5cBDGhqzdAlU92a9IFeum-BbIwMa6WrVVMA=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-selected="1">As professional certified intimacy coaches we adhere to ethical guidelines and maintain confidentiality, providing a safe space for you to explore and grow.<h3>The Benefits of Intimacy Coaching</h3><ul><li>Improved Communication Skills: Learn effective ways to express needs and desires with out generating conflict.</li><li>Enhanced Emotional Connection: Build deeper, and more intimate emotional bonds with partners, friends and colleagues.</li><li>Personal Growth: Gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your personal patterns and behaviors and the skills to transform them.</li><li>Relationship Satisfaction: Increase your overall happiness in all your relationships.</li></ul>We are here to provide world class intimacy coaching that transforms our clients lives and gives them greater freedom, confidence and skill to create the relationships they desire.

Myths About Intimacy Coaching: Shouldn't I just know this?!

<h2>Understanding Intimacy in Relationships</h2>Intimacy is the foundation of any meaningful relationship, in all our work we emphasise that the relating is ultimately more important than the relationship. Yet intimacy can be elusive for many. Where do we learn to be intimate? It goes beyond physical closeness to encompass emotional and sensory connections that foster trust and understanding. Unlocking intimacy requires conscious effort and a willingness to be vulnerable with your partner.And we know as well as anyone that that is not easy to do!Many people confuse intimacy with frequency of physical interactions. However, true intimacy is about the depth of your connection and understanding. It's about feeling safe to express your deepest thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. This kind of openness strengthens the bonds between partners, creating a space where both individuals feel valued and understood.<figure id="figure-j7nckjof5mavsncsh"><img id="j7nckjof5mavsncsh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2059995160/photo/couple-coffee-and-sitting-on-floor-in-kitchen-for-quality-time-or-fun-to-celebrate-or.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YVo63cQQNTqeWrJ6UdcHCwjXs4aJFaTmq3xzjhFIGDw=" alt="couple talking" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2059995160/photo/couple-coffee-and-sitting-on-floor-in-kitchen-for-quality-time-or-fun-to-celebrate-or.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YVo63cQQNTqeWrJ6UdcHCwjXs4aJFaTmq3xzjhFIGDw=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Communication: The Foundation of Intimacy</h2>Open communication is a key ingredient ito building deeper connections. It's more than just talking; it's about listening actively and empathizing with your partner's perspective. When partners communicate openly, they can address misunderstandings before they escalate into bigger issues.Here are some tips to enhance communication in your relationship:<ul><li>Listen openly: Pay full attention when your partner is speaking, and show empathy for their feelings. We teach you how to do that well, it's an art.</li><li>Express yourself clearly: Share your truth, what you sense feel and know openly, without assuming your partner can read your mind. This takes courage and it helps if you have a contained space. We show you how to do this skillfully.</li><li>Be patient: Allow your partner to express themselves fully without interrupting or rushing the conversation or waiting to respond. Again this takes time to develop the skill especially when it's something that really shits you!</li></ul><figure id="figure-h31metq18mavsncsh"><img id="h31metq18mavsncsh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2059995160/photo/couple-coffee-and-sitting-on-floor-in-kitchen-for-quality-time-or-fun-to-celebrate-or.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YVo63cQQNTqeWrJ6UdcHCwjXs4aJFaTmq3xzjhFIGDw=" alt="couple communication" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2059995160/photo/couple-coffee-and-sitting-on-floor-in-kitchen-for-quality-time-or-fun-to-celebrate-or.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YVo63cQQNTqeWrJ6UdcHCwjXs4aJFaTmq3xzjhFIGDw=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>The Role of Trust in Intimacy</h2>Trust is a fundamental component of intimacy. Without it, relationships can become fraught with insecurity and doubt. For us, no trust means no relating! No relating means no real relationship.Building trust requires being consistent in actions and words, as well as being honest even when it's difficult. By being reliable and transparent, partners can create a safe environment where there's no uncertainty or doubt or guessing, this is the ground for which intimacy can flourish.To cultivate trust in your relationship, consider these strategies:<ol><li>Be dependable: Follow through on promises and commitments.</li><li>Be honest: Share your truths, even when they are uncomfortable and may get a strong reaction. If you are not being truthful who are they in relationship with?</li><li>Acknowledge mistakes: Be brave in your apologies, own up to your fuck ups and misunderstandings, take responsibility for your actions that have created adverse reactions. This creates greater trust and confidence in you.</li></ol><figure id="figure-1yw7h9lgumavsncsh"><img id="1yw7h9lgumavsncsh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1460172015/photo/businessmen-making-handshake-with-partner-greeting-dealing-merger-and-acquisition-business.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YpYJsliN8E2ML7pMq_cU9ego6V5hQ7dwGblH2n7skHg=" alt="trust in relationship" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1460172015/photo/businessmen-making-handshake-with-partner-greeting-dealing-merger-and-acquisition-business.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=YpYJsliN8E2ML7pMq_cU9ego6V5hQ7dwGblH2n7skHg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Emotional Vulnerability: A Pathway to Deeper Bonds</h2>Being emotionally vulnerable is essential for developing intimacy. It involves sharing your fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner. While it may seem daunting, this level of openness can lead to profound connection and mutual understanding. It's showing your human side and acknowledging it's ok to have challenges as well as deep desires.&nbsp;To practice emotional vulnerability, try the following:<ul><li>Share personal stories and lessons learned: Open up about past experiences that have shaped you, before doing that make sure you are clear what the lesson you learnt from the situation or the impact it had on you. This makes it so much more interesting for the listener!</li><li>Discuss future aspirations: Talk about your goals and dreams together isn't that why you are in relationship? Get aligned on what you aspire to create together. No creating means no relating.</li><li>Express emotions freely: Allow yourself to feel and express a range of emotions without self-censorship, and hold space for your partner to share their feelings. Feelings are what makes us human and it's ok to have them and move with them. However watch you don't get stuck in emotional quagmires and give your power away to circumstances.&nbsp;</li></ul><h2>Cultivating Shared Experiences</h2>Shared experiences are powerful in building intimacy. Engaging in activities together creates lasting memories and fosters a sense of companionship. Whether it's traveling, cooking, or exploring new hobbies, finding common interests is extremely important in strengthening the bond between partners.<figure id="figure-nym840vgpmavsncsh"><img id="nym840vgpmavsncsh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2038274422/photo/people-with-colon-cancer-explain-their-experience-in-a-video-patient-experience-sharing.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1tSDgaNlQpxNBsVUPu_mKjxpn1_sUnS6itvCd-uKuys=" alt="shared experiences couples" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2038274422/photo/people-with-colon-cancer-explain-their-experience-in-a-video-patient-experience-sharing.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=1tSDgaNlQpxNBsVUPu_mKjxpn1_sUnS6itvCd-uKuys=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure>Consider setting aside regular time for activities that both partners enjoy. This could be as simple as a weekly date night (take turns in organising it) or trying something new together. The key is to make these moments special, memorable and meaningful, reinforcing the connection you share.<h2>Nurturing Intimacy Over Time</h2>Building intimacy is not a one-time task but an ongoing process. Relationships evolve, and so should the ways partners connect with each other. It's important to continually nurture the intimacy in your relationship by being attuned to each other’s needs and adapting as necessary.&nbsp;Remember that maintaining intimacy requires sustained effort and commitment from both partners. By prioritizing communication, trust, vulnerability, and shared experiences, you can unlock deeper intimacy that enriches your relationship over time and has you fall deeper in love with one another.We know, because thats what we experience.&nbsp;

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Good Relationships Fall Apart

Myths About Intimacy Coaching: Shouldn't I just know this?!

Unlocking Intimacy: How to Build Deeper Connections in Re...